areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
