Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
