do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
