I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
