She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
