we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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