She is in my trunk
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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