I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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