i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize