pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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