the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have fence marks all over my body
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