yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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