would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
