Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just found puke in my bra..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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