My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Houston, we have a squirter
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
