coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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