Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I understand Curling. That high.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
