its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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