No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
