The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
