Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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