I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
