discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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