I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
