Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
