Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
