Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
