how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
