Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My cat gives me a boner
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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