Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
