I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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