there's paper in my vomit.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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