U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
