he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
