Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
smell my finger.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
