"it" just moved
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
