I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
