Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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