ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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