This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
