If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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