So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
