I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize