I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
