Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
