I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
