I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
