Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
