well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
