I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
