You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
