After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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