when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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