if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
