Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
