talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
