For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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