honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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