this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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