Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize