By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
