No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
