normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Pants are for mortals
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
