So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
