are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
