I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
