can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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