i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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