Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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