Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
