I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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